Seriously clueless

India, private equity and more ...

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Legalese

All of us go through those "Why do I even bother" moments. Here's one of mine: It's 9pm. I've just spent the last 3 hours poring over gory legal documents (I didnt know this was part of the job description, when I joined venture capital). Just when I thought I'd seen it all, I run into the following work of art:

Any other acts whatsoever beyond the reasonable control of the Party affected, then the Party so affected shall upon giving prior written notice to the other be excused from such performance to the extent that such cause prevents, restricts or interferes with it PROVIDED THAT it shall use its best to avoid or remove such cause of non performance and shall continue performance hereunder with the utmost despatch whenever such causes are removed; then upon such prevention, restriction or interference as aforesaid arising, the Investors and the Company shall meet forthwith to discuss what modifications (if any) may be required to the terms of this Agreement in order to arrive at an equitable solution.
I read it once. I read it twice. I read it thrice to confirm that this is actually a single sentence. I swear loudly in Tamil (somehow this activity is a lot more fulfilling when done in the vernacular). O@$#$a o@#$a. Finally understand (not the sentence but) why there are so many lawyer jokes.

17 Comments:

At 4:17 AM, Blogger bluesky said...

I DID read the full sentnce once !! Thankfully I dont have to repeat :)

 
At 6:22 AM, Anonymous Daniel Nerezov said...

This is the funnied thing I've read in a while!

Thanks for making my day ;-)

 
At 6:23 AM, Anonymous Daniel Nerezov said...

*funniest

 
At 8:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why do lawyers get paid so much to write this? It looks like a template which can be put in any deal. Isn't it?

PVS
www.vccircle.com

 
At 11:25 AM, Blogger BSE Gems said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 11:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Legal jargon is a endless pit....the deeper one goes into its depth, the farther one's hairline recedes.

The best way to understand them is with a bottle at your side(wine or whisky)

No wonder, KAPIL SIBAL, RAM JEHTMALANI, Arun Jaitley played with their legal oratorial skills and moved up the ranks

Madhu

 
At 5:38 PM, Blogger P said...

absolutely hilarious! You have a very interesting blog here.

Btw..the latest dilbert strip deals with a venture capitalist named Vijay!

 
At 12:57 AM, Anonymous Kasa said...

What it means is-If the start-up misses a milestone (like a 3rd quarter earning), then it shall inform the investors in advance(unsaid-help us do the CYA properly). However, the company will do its utmost to remove all or any such causes of non-performance, going forward.

Now,will I get a job in your Legal cell :)

 
At 9:44 PM, Blogger Seema said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 10:57 AM, Blogger Anand Sridharan said...

Lawers! Cant Love them .. Cant make money without them ... good one anand

 
At 2:31 PM, Blogger Tarun Theogaraj said...

Hey, great post! Followed the link here from David Cowan's blog, and I aim to keep visiting :)

 
At 12:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am sure there is a seperate line at hell's door for the kind of guys who write this stuff!

Funny stuff. Funny VC.

- Ashwin
www.vaatsalya.com

 
At 8:31 PM, Blogger sundar said...

i read it a couple of times before I understood the stuff...if somebody actually composed this (not a template) he/she deserves more salary than what he/she is getting......
there must be someway to get rid of these he/she thinggy ans at the same time being PC......i guess it will need a lawyer to come up with something appropriate

 
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